Day 3

Three days ago my family and I decided to go on a juice fast. After fasting for three days, we evaluated, and my aunt and I decided to extend our fast.  Every day, I juice fruits and vegetables to create the gorgeous green elixir that we drink several times a day.

Well, it’s Day 3 and aside from the intense craving for french fries (with extra salt!), I seem to be doing ok. I started out thinking that this would be the jumpstart of a radically changed lifestyle. Sadly, I don’t think this is going to be the case. This craving for french fries is so strong that I’m pretty sure I’ll cave in a few days. That is because even though my behavior has changed, my mind has not.

Similarly, when I was working the job from hell, I went shopping on several weekends. Generally, I did well purchasing only what I needed. I bought consumables (tea, groceries, hair products) and things that I genuinely needed (new bras!). But I spent time shopping when I could have been writing. It is what I have always done. It is almost as if I gave myself permission to fall back into that habit because I made more money.  The result? I got things I needed, and a few things I didn’t. While I did manage to limit my spending, the fact that I shopped recreationally is evidence that my mindset still needs some work.

I’ve heard it before, but over the last three days I have come to understand this truth: in order to achieve lasting change, you must replace old habits with new ones. Willpower isn’t enough. Sure, it will work for a while, but when you’re in a pinch, or a crisis, or even when you’re bored, you will go back to old habits. There has to be something to take the place of the old, destructive habits in order for a change to stick.

So my goal for the remainder of this juice fast is to look for ways to replace old habits. I have joined a 30 Day Vegan Challenge to help me find some healthy recipes and to replace bad habits with healthy ones. I have a new writing project that I will begin very soon. Over the next few days I will explore more ways to replace bad habits with good ones. And after the fast is done, I will begin installing those new habits so that the changes are permanent. I’ll keep you posted.

Choosing To Trust

The last few weeks have been really rough. I have been working insane hours at a job that is not working out. At all. I am not sure how much longer it will last, and that’s ok.

Yes, I need income. Yes, I have bills to pay. Yes, I feel anxiety rising about what will happen to me. But I am choosing not to give in to it. As I battle this anxiety, I try to remind myself of two things:

Ultimately, this job is not my source. Jesus is. God is my provider, and he can provide my any means.

Worrying will not help me one bit. Worry does not pay bills. It doesn’t help me find a job that’s actually going to work for me. It does nothing to help the situation.  It actually makes the situation worse by hindering my productivity, making my head hurt, and robbing me of sleep at night.

So, in this moment of uncertainty, I am making a deliberate decision that I will not give in to anxiety. God is going to do something. I have no idea what, but he will do something.

I will pray. I will continue to search for work. And I will choose to trust God to get me through this.

Collecting Pieces of the Past

I recently discovered a new show called “American Pickers.” It is a really entertaining and engaging reality show that chronicles the adventures of two antique collectors, Mike Wolfe and Frank Fritz, as they hunt for bargains.

I was amazed at their knowledge. They can tell you what a piece is, what era it comes from, how rare it is, and how much it’s worth. Clearly they are dedicated to their craft.

In this episode, the co-stars are driving around making unplanned stops at small roadside stores, repair shops and junk yards in search of signs, toys, and other collectables.

Their goal is to resell their purchases at their antique shop. After watching the show for only two minutes, it is immediately apparent that they love what they do. And, clearly, they make good money doing it. People pay hundreds of dollars for rusted out signs and old toys.

Why? Because people just want to have more junk around? I don’t think so. I honestly think that people collect things from bygone eras because they take us back to a place when life was better. We were younger, thiner, happier… They remind us of days that we want back.

The opposite side of that coin is that I think we are often weary of our current circumstances. Life is hard. We want to go to a better time. We can’t go to the future, but we can visit the past as often as we like. It is an escape from the trouble of our lives.

Of course, there is a historic element to antiques. Each piece tells a story. And there is certainly money to be made in the antique business. But I am convinced that the antiques are more about how the items make us feel rather than about the things themselves.

Having these reminders of the good old days brings us comfort in the face of life’s uncertainty. And the longer we spend looking at the old movie posters, the less time we have to think about what the future may hold for us.

It is hard when it looks like the good days are all behind you. I sometimes feel that way. But I don’t believe that antiques are the answer. There are three ways that we can respond to life’s uncertainty:

Give thanks where you are. When it seems like your best days are behind you, stop and think about what is good today. The old folks used to call it “counting your blessings.” When you find the good that is presently in your life, it gives you a little bit of hope for the future.

Pray about it. None of us can see the future. It’s easy to get anxious about it. But worry is not the answer. Prayer is (Philippians 4:6). Take your concerns to Jesus, and ask for his peace instead.

Take steps today that will make tomorrow better. You can’t control whether or not you get laid off next year, but you can start a savings plan. You can start exercising. You can start studying. You can update your resume. Think about what you can do today that may benefit you tomorrow. Often just taking some kind of action will alleviate some of the anxiety about the future.

It’s ok to admire a 19th century chest of drawers. It’s not ok to collect pieces of the past to ward off insecurity about the future. Be thankful. Pray. Take small steps that will help you later. Don’t be afraid. Just trust. Appreciate the past. But optimistically move forward the future.

One Day at a Time

Sometimes we are tempted to live in the future. We spend precious time contemplating and worrying about what may or may not happen in the future. We worry about money. We worry about our families. We worry about our health.

Jesus cautioned against this. “Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” (Matthew 6:34). During the last section of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus is talking about worry. At the end, he specifically mentions worrying about the future. We should not worry about the future. We should be taking life one day at a time.

How do we do this? How do we avoid the trap of worry for the future? It is a challenge, but there are some ways in which we can escape worry for the future and take things one day at a time:

• Focus on today. What needs to be done today? What are some tasks that you can tackle immediately? What actions can you take today that may help to decrease your anxiety? For example, someone anxious about their health can start exercising, or she can prepare a healthy meal.
• Mind your thoughts. It is really easy to go from reasonable planning to obsessing about the future. Be mindful of your thoughts and emotions. Are you feeling anxiety? If so, you’ve probably crossed over into worry. If you find yourself worrying about the future, don’t beat yourself up. Just shift your focus back to the present.
• Breathe. It’s amazing what a few deep breaths will do to bring you back to the moment.
• Experience nature. A nice walk outdoors can really help to relieve stress and dissipate worry. Connecting to nature has a way of bringing us back to the present. We feel the sunshine and the breeze, we see the leaves, we hear children playing. These things ground us in the moment.
• Give thanks. Take a look at your life present life. Find five things you are grateful for, and thank God for them. Finding the good in today will help to curb your worry about tomorrow.
• Start smaller, if necessary. Sometimes even a day is too much. Sometimes I have to focus on just making it to lunch. If one day is too much , focus on only a portion of the day: an hour, the next five minutes, whatever will help to keep you focused on today.

 

It is so easy to get caught up in worry about tomorrow. Jesus does not want us to do that, though. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Let’s take it one day at a time.

Indulgence

As humans, we love to indulge, don’t we? We love, love, love things that makes us feel good — that slice of cheesecake; that new pair of shoes; that extra hour of sleep. These are things that bring us pleasure. And as people, we naturally prefer things that are pleasant to us.

This is why we overeat. This is why we are not productive. And this is why we overspend. It feels good to buy that new bracelet. I know it feels good to eat that chocolate cake. And I really enjoy reading through my twitter feed.

Sometimes I try to justify my indulgences. I’ll tell myself, “I work hard. I deserve this.” Or I will say that I’m treating myself. Sometimes, I’ll realize that I don’t need those french fries and I’ll promise to do better… next time. All this results in me choosing to  give in to all of life’s indulgences.

Here’s the problem: my arguments don’t hold water. Just because I work hard doesn’t mean that I can buy whatever I want. I don’t need to treat myself every day. And if I don’t exercise self control today, the chances of me miraculously exercising self control tomorrow are slim.

The bottom line is that if we want it badly enough, we will come up with a reason to indulge— even if the reason is false.

My pastor talks about those little things that we enjoy, but really aren’t essential. He calls them “the snacks of life.” These are things that are enjoyable, but if one is not careful, they can take the place of the more substantial things in life. Just like snacking on potato chips can ruin my appetite for dinner, filling up on the snacks of life can occupy me so that I have no time or energy for the more important things.

If I spend 45 minutes on facebook, I may not have time to write. If I fill up on cookies, I won’t eat healthy foods. If I spend money on  jewelry (which I don’t need) I might not have money to buy gas (which I do need). There is nothing wrong with facebook, or cookies, or jewelry. They become a problem, however, when they take the place of more important things.

Giving in to every craving or urge can be very destructive.  It can cause financial problems. It can impact your health. And it can keep you from accomplishing what you need to accomplish. This is especially true when we pursue pleasures at the expense of priorities.

A friend once told me that a large part of adulthood is realizing that resources are finite. Time is limited. Money is limited. We must keep this in mind when making decisions. We cannot get so focused on pursuing the pleasures of life that we neglect the priorities. This will lead to destruction.

It can be hard to turn away from life’s assorted pleasures to focus on the priorities. Each day is filled with opportunities to indulge. As you go about your week, be mindful of your priorities. Watch out for the snacks of life that threaten to pull your attention away. Choose carefully what you give your time and attention to. It may not be pleasant in that moment, but I believe that focusing on the priorities will pay off in the long run.

How do you stay focused on the priorities in your life? I look forward to reading your comments.

How To Organize Your Purse

I am always on the lookout for “clutter creep,” when we slowly accumulate stuff after decluttering. Purging has to become a part of your routine. If not, the creep sets in and we have just as much clutter as before.

For me, the creep is a constant concern. And the hardest place to control the creep is in my purse. Too often, I stand at the door digging in my purse for my house keys. It is also embarrassing to sit your purse on a counter when it has a ton of stuff in it. The fact that my purse sometimes weighs as much as a small child is a problem in itself.

Keeping your purse organized is a struggle, but it’s better if you have a strategy. Here are some things to consider when taming the beast in your bag:

• Wallet – Do you use your wallet for storing business cards, receipts, and other things? It’s ok to put important things in your wallet. However, a wallet can only hold so much. Set a regular time (weekly, monthly, etc.) to go through your wallet and clean out all the extra stuff.
  • Also consider dumping change every week. Change is heavy and it takes up space. Collecting change is also a good way to save some extra money.
• Keys – Do you need all they keys on your key ring? If there are some that you don’t use, or some that you only use occasionally, consider taking them off and putting them in a safe place until they are needed.
• Makeup – Do you need a full makeup collection everywhere you go? Most of us can get away with just lip products. Usually lipstick is all we need. One signature look and a spare is good enough.
• Pockets – Most purses have a zipper pocket. It tends to collect receipts, business cards, reward cards (those that aren’t important enough to be kept in the wallet) and all other manner of junk.
  • Consider taking a different approach with reward cards and gift cards. Keep a wallet in the house for all these cards. This will cut down on unplanned trips to the stores (good for our minimalist goals!).
• Miscellaneous -  There are a ton of other things we carry in our purses: pens, combs, hand sanitizer, hand lotion, books, iPods, iPads, cell phones… Evaluate what you really need on a daily basis and carry only those things.
• Repeat! Go through your purse periodically to make sure that the clutter doesn’t creep back in.

What are your purse management tips?

Have vs. Have Not

Sometimes I get focused on what I don’t have. With advertisements extolling the virtues of products we don’t have, sometimes it’s easy to lose focus on what we do have.

In order to focus on one thing, we must exclude everything else.

Renowned life coach Anthony Robbins calls this “deleting.” In one of his talks he asks the audience to look around the room and find everything that was blue and then close their eyes. With eyes closed, he asked the audience to think of something that was green. As expected, the audience was so focused on blue things that they failed to notice things that were green. When focused on blue, the brain automatically deleted all other colors.

We do the same thing in our lives. Sometimes we are so consumed with what we don’t have that we miss what we do have. Every commercial presents us with something to buy; something that will improve our lives exponentially if only we would purchase it. Every store is filled with new things that will makes us happier, sexier, and more productive; or so they would have us believe. With images of what we don’t have constantly before us, it’s easy to delete all the good that’s present in our lives.

Trust me, I fall into the trap all the time. I spend far too much time lamenting all the things in life I don’t have. It’s depressing and it leads to unhealthy thoughts and behaviors. It is almost always a result of deleting all the good in my life and focusing on all the bad. That is no way to live.

My life is not perfect. I have plenty of problems, but I have plenty of blessings, too.

I do not have a full-time job, but I have a part time job that provides some income.

I do not have a BMW, but I have a car that runs well.

I do not have a sprawling 5 bedroom home but I have a place to sleep that is safe and comfortable.

I have food.

I have friends and family that love me.

I have a sense of destiny and purpose.

I have am in good health.

When I focus on these things it makes me feel full. Content. I don’t feel this sense of longing that I have so often tried to fill by buying more things. I don’t need more things. I only need to realize that I already have enough.

Strong and Courageous

I’m not feeling particularly courageous. Yes, I’ve done some courageous things, but when presented with a new challenge, sometimes I panic.

In the next couple of weeks I will be taking on some new roles in my church. These will take me way out of my comfort zone. I’m not sure if I’m ready. I feel so messed up, so unsure, so inadequate. I feel downright scared.

But why am I so scared? I’m scared because I will be doing things I’ve never done before. What if I’m not good at what I do? What if I mess up? What if I look like an idiot?

My fears reveal the real problem: I am worried about me — worried about how I’ll feel and how I’ll look. I seek to save myself embarrassment and discomfort. I seek to avoid difficult situations.

Note that my fear is not about whether or not this is what God wants. These next steps are consistent with what I know God wants me to do. I’m pretty sure he is behind this. But I’m so caught up in how I feel, that what God wants has actually become an afterthought.

My thought process should be something like this: I believe this is what God wants. He promises to be with me. Let his will be done.

In Exodus 3:12, God commissions Moses to go to Pharaoh to demand freedom for the Israelites. He promises to be with him. When Moses hesitates, God tells Moses that he will be with his mouth and that he would teach Moses what he should speak (Exodus 4:12).

As I discussed in my last post, God promised to be with Joshua, just as he was with Moses. Joshua was to be strong and courageous, knowing that God was with him.

Should I not do the same? As I take prepare to take on greater responsibility, should I not go forward with courage, knowing that God is with me? Is than not enough to calm my fears?

The only way for me to move forward is to shift the focus from myself and my own discomfort, to doing what God wants. This is the only way that I can be strong and courageous.

When I picked up and moved across the country for seminary, I wasn’t focused on myself. I was focused on the fact that if I didn’t go, I could miss out of God’s will. I wasn’t about to let that happen, and I really wasn’t going to let fear be the cause. My fear of regret was stronger than my fear of failure, so I went.

That required courage – more than I knew I had. I think that we all have more courage than we realize. But sometimes self-centered fear threatens to deactivate that courage.

In those times, remember that God is with you . He is bigger. He is greater. He is stronger. And just as he was with Moses, he will be with you.

Courage

What makes an elephant charge his tusk,

in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk?

What makes the muskrat guard his musk?

COURAGE!

- The Cowardly Lion

 

The Wizard of Oz is one of my favorite movies of all time. I love the characters. I love the music. And as a woman, I love the idea of having ruby slippers. I have practically memorized the entire movie, but I never tire of watching it again and again.

As I sit reflecting on some materials from a very talented and celebrated life coach, I am reminded of the Cowardly Lion. There is so much at stake in my life. I don’t really know what to do. Is it that I have no options? No, I have options (very few). What I need is courage try something.

If you know me, you probably know that I am shy. I have a hard time asking for things because I never want to interrupt or intrude. I don’t think of myself as particularly courageous, especially when the very thought of a job interview triggers a panic attack. Crazy, perhaps, but not courageous.

But then I think back to four years ago, when I packed up and moved across the country to go to seminary. I had no idea how things would turn out (that remains to be seen!), but I drove myself to Tulsa anyway. It was a huge risk, but I took it. I recently shared my thoughts about it here.

Since that time, I’ve been really scared. I’ve been scared about my health, my home, my sanity… And I am still scared. This is not my idea of courage. I identify with the Cowardly Lion, particularly the scene where he’s poised to ask the Wizard for some courage but he passes out instead.

When I think of courage, I think of people like Harriet Tubman. I think of soldiers in Afghanistan. I think of my mother as she battled breast cancer. I don’t think of the girl with the insect phobia.

I think of people like Abraham, and Moses, and Paul. I think of Joshua and Caleb, who were ready to go and claim the promised land in spite of the giants that were living there. Before he set out, God gave Joshua the ultimate pep talk in Joshua 1:6-9. Three times the he tells Joshua: “Be strong and courageous.”

Strength and courage. I don’t have strength or courage like Joshua. I also don’t have the challenge of warring peoples (thankfully). My challenges are different. While I don’t have the courage to battle Joshua’s giants, is it possible that I have enough to battle my own? If I do, then why do I feel so afraid? Much like the Cowardly Lion, I feel that my courage is inadequate.

Perhaps the thing I like most about the Wizard of Oz is the message: You already have what you need. The Scarecrow went to the Emerald City to ask the Wizard for some brains. But throughout the whole movie, he is constantly coming up with good ideas and solutions to problems. The Tin Man goes to ask the Wizard for a heart, but he’s the most emotional of all the characters. Then there’s the Lion. He longs for courage, but he accompanies Dorothy to the Emerald City, journeys to the Wicked Witch’s castle, beats up guards to steal their uniforms, and sneaks into the castle. And he does all this in spite of his fear. That is courage, my friends.

My guess is that like the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion, we see ourselves as inadequate. We compare ourselves to other people, and we feel we come up short. But like our beloved movie characters, I’m sure that you are much smarter, more caring, and more courageous than you give yourself credit for.

Media for Minimalists

I have committed to living simply, but I have not committed to a lifetime of deprivation. I love my media. Books, especially. I also love CDs. My DVD collection is not very large, but I do have a few.

Before minimalism, I collected books. I love books of all kinds: fiction, reference, language, cookbooks, and just about every other. I also collected CDs. However, the advent of the digital age has made it easier for me to live simply.

I bring simplicity to my media by:

• Keeping music digitally. Everything is stored on my computer. I am partial to iTunes, and I use it to store and organize my rather large music collection.
• Investing in an eReader or tablet computer. I will always need books. The iPad makes it possible to fulfill my need for books without taking up space. I realize that this is still a form of collecting, and to some extent. But for my level of simplicity, the the ability to read books digitally is the key to maintaining my collection without all the space.
• Getting magazines for iPad. I am just starting to explore this one. I really like magazines, but I don’t like to keep them around forever. And of course I feel guilty for throwing them out because I paid for them. I recently got a subscription to Relevant Magazine, which I read on my iPad. It’s awesome because I get access immediately and there is nothing store.
• Watching movies online. I recently signed up with Flixster and Vudu to watch digital copies of movies. I don’t watch a lot of movies, but this is a way to watch them without taking up space. And, of course, there is Netflix. You can access a ton of movies without buying anything.

The digital age has made it so much easier to have the media that I need while using minimal space. I can still read my 30 books this year without buying a new bookshelf. For me, that’s a perfect solution.